As there will be no actual pages inside the box, the introduction will need to be where the blurb would be.
So it needs to cover two jobs (Blurb: Short Summary of Creative Work | Introduction: gives readers an idea of what the rest of the writing will say and provides a reason for readers to keep reading).
Below are some ways I may achieve this..
To Emphasise Routine:
07:00-07:30: Alarm. 07:30-08:00 Feed Kids. 08:00-08:30 Drive Kids to School. 08:30-09:00 Get to Work. 09:00-15:00 Work. 15:00-15:30 Pick Kids Up. 15:30-17:00 Loud Noise and Mess. 17:00-1800 Cook Dinner. 18:00-18:30 Tidy Up Dinner. 18:30-19:00 Try to Get Kids in Bed. 19:00-19:30 Tidy Up Kids’ Mess. 19:30-20:30 Worry about Bills. 20:00-21:30 Hour of ‘You’ Time. 21:30-22:00 Ready for Bed, Set Alarm. (repeated around 3 times)
[Issues with this one is that not everyone’s routines the same and plus, it’s pretty harsh on the eyes.]
A More Traditional Approach:
Congratulations on your purchase of this book!
If you are 30 to 40 years of age (or generally stuck in a rut) and have fallen victim to routine; your days have become unpredictable and dull, then this book may be able help you get the most out of your life!
I don’t want to give false impressions, this book isn’t going to demand you do something outrageous to change your life- you have obligations and responsibilities. Instead, I aim to help you cope. Accept what you have and begin to appreciate it. Focus on what you have, not what you don’t. When you take the time to stop and do this, you will begin to break free from the everyday schedule.
[This one isn’t comical enough to mock the subject. Also gives too much of the contents away.]
The One I Think I Will Use:
Do you ever feel like your life has a pattern?
Are you finding yourself with less and less time for yourself?
Did you ever think you would end up somewhere different?
Have you begun to resent decisions you have made?
If ‘Yes’ to any of these questions Buy This Book!
Trading Standards dictate that I must not give false preconceptions (a law that could potentially damage sales) so here goes:
This book will not change you, you won’t be enlightened by it and you certainly should not expect inner peace. However, it may help you cope with your life. There is not a series of steps to follow inside, you’re life is routine enough. You should find 10 individual booklets, each with a specialist-approved techniques to lower stress and help you see clearly. Each booklet also contains, scientific reasoning behind the technique, stories and more!
You determine how this process works. You choose the booklet and you choose how you use it.
Finally you are in control again!
It’s really up to you if you buy it or not but I really want to move out of my Mum’s house and your money would really help with that. So please buy this book, I promise it’s only, like, 70% bullshit.
[I think this one works because I accept and admit that the book is just an easy way to make money for me and it has a heavy humour to it, setting up the mockery concept, but at the same time it does try to be a self-help book.
I think it satisfies the blurb/introduction challenge: it explains the book and it’s intentions whilst setting up the tone of it]
I will need to do a flyer, to go inside, for instructions on how to use the ‘Catherine-Wheel Booklet Selector’